Archive for January, 2010

January 13, 2010

Quality has to count for something or “You’re only as good as your last DC”

I come before you today, in this forum of What Not To Crochet, to humbly bring to your combined notice, an Item which leaves me concerned for the state of Crochet and the patterns that are being sold to the public.

The intention is not to denigrate this pattern’s representative item for its colour, which is admittedly that least favourite: the indescribable Putrid Pea Soup of a Misbegotten Grinchy Green, the very thought of which makes me, an average crocheter, feel nauseated to the point where only the memory of the 11 x 200gm skeins of pure natural coloured wool I scored for a whopping $1 a skein at a thrift store today can numb the discomfort  but instead to highlight the flawed construction of an item which, to purchase the pattern, will cost you $US 2.99 ( $Aus 3.23, £1.85, €2.06, ¥273, $SGD 4.65, Rph 463) alone.  

Yes, Ladies, Gentlemen, Crocheters of all ages and mental effectiveness, even th0ugh this item is listed in it’s vendor’s “Quick and Easy” section, I ask you all to pause and consider this “slipper” pattern:


Even if a pattern is a) quick, b) easy and/or c) all of the above, should the resulting item not also involve some level of Quality ?

If you travel further down the tunnel of wrist pain that every FPDC carpals you towards,  should not the Finished Product refrain from allowing the wearer’s big toe prolapsing?

If you hook it, whether afghan, amigurumi or applique-intended flower, does it not then exist as a Crocheted item, bearing witness to and representing Crochet-kind throughout the Intarwebs and beyond?   Does the Item not then deserve, in Crochet’s larval form: pattern and skein to be rendered with some element of mechanical/artisan skill?

Consider the flaws above – gaping stitches being probably the most obvious of sins, is this then, a pattern you would actively buy?




January 1, 2010

Welcome to 2010!

Now we’ve beaten 2009 and the rest of those effin’ horrible Noughties into submission, dipped them in peanut butter and fed them to a Poodle, 2010 is The time to party and to make the changes we want to see in the world.

Apparently, however 2010’s new and fresh opportunities doesn’t mean I’m allowed to wrestle the yarn away from an elderly lady in the Craft SuperStore, when she’s gathered together Turquoise, Mustard, Emerald, Teal and Fuschia acrylics with the texture of baling twine on the pretext of making an blanky for her granddaughter.

 Yeah – Even when I called it an Intervention, I got told No.

Anyway – welcome to 2010, hope you’ve got your knickers ready:

%d bloggers like this: