Archive for June, 2009

June 30, 2009

At least it’s not in Granny Squares.. (and vote pls!)

Personally, I think it’s a conspiracy.

First of all – have to remind you that whilst the Northern hemisphere is rejoicing in Summer, those of us on the Flip side of the Planet are feeling the chills.

Heralded (or maybe I should say Telegraphed) this morning was the Snuggie, or the Slanket, or the Blankoat.

Sales does be through the roof of the blanket with sleeves.

What is making this news cringeworthy is these are items that are designed for on-couch or at most in-house use, like our old comfy friend, the Ugg boot. brittney

And the Ugg boot, as we all know, has a painful tendency to make appearances elsewhere.


Ok – the Absolutely Unbreakable Rule is

they should not be worn PAST your MAILBOX. 


And fricking never with a gap between the closest garment’s hem and the top of the boot.

Unless it’s a negative gap – otherwise known as



The modern day Snuggie, for those people cannot master advanced technology such as a Blanket – I mean seriously, is it *that* hard to maintain control of a piece of cloth while reaching for the remote???

And besides – we’ve been here before : Couch Dresses!


lionbrand of course

To make matters worse….   we have not one, but two Yarnporiums who have produced patterns (and one has been around for awhile – has anyone bothered to make one?) for Wrapghans.


These are patterns that are designed purely to drive up the Global demand for Yarn – because you’ll need enough sheep to send someone to Dreamyland to make it!



What not to crochet – something that pins you to the couch out of the sheer weight of the yarn that the Manufacturer is trying to flog.






Oh and BTW :

2009 BlogLuxe Awards


June 28, 2009

Vote or I’ll set the Sheep on you!!


(Hey – you guys said to remind you 🙂 )

And doesn’t he just look poised to fall on your noggin?

But the reason why I’ve chosen him to threaten you with is:

If I didn’t tell you he was a sheep… would you pick him AS a sheep

or as an Apocalyptic Poodle?


Blogluxe Awards.

2009 BlogLuxe Awards

June 24, 2009

An unashamed Plea for your Vote…

My fellow Coffee-Over-TheScreen Snorterers, I would like to take this opportunity to firstly thank whoever it was who nominated us for the   Blogluxe Awards.

2009 BlogLuxe Awards

That is a Great, Great thing that you have done.

May you always be able to find your 4mm crochet hooks!

Now… I call upon you all, Crocheters, Sniggerers, and those who come upon this blog in the search of Nipples,   Please – go vote for WNTC!! 

Yes,  We CAN make a difference!!      Yes, We CAN be the change we wish to see in the world! Yes, We CAN win The Funniest Blog Award!

What Not To Crochet has been around since 2006 – We are one of the Original Snark blogs.  Let Us stand up and proudly denounce the Use of Fun Fur and the Eye-Searing Granny Square to the World!

And you know what’s seriously great about this ballot??       you don’t get to vote once, and hope that everyone else sees the blinding obvious truth :  That the world needs strong leadership, whether in Pursuing World Peace, combatting the GFC  or gaily distributing “stimulus cheques”, YOU CAN GO BACK AND VOTE EVERY DAY!

So Vote for WNTC today! and Tomorrow! and Every Day !!

the bear


Vote, otherwise the Bear gets it!  – and then scroll through – they randomise the positions…

Please.. seriously folks… vote 🙂

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