Tampon Cozies

Meant to “disguise” your most personal feminine hygiene product –
you decide if it works or not.  The pink one is a uterus cozy with ovaries on it!

Thank you to one of our readers for this submission!

95 Responses to “Tampon Cozies”

  1. This makes me uncomfortable. Yes, I’m a woman but Christ! Just throw it in your purse like a normal person.

  2. I’m not sure whether to laugh hysterically or gasp indignitly…ah, hell, I’ll do both!

    Bwahahahahaha!

    Oh!

    My!

    God!

  3. I still shake my head every time I look at this and wonder WTF was she thinking!!

  4. I’m coming out of the woodwork for this one. Holy Moly!

    I so enjoy your blog. Thank you.

  5. OK, it’s ludicrous – but in a funny way. These made me laugh rather than cringe.

  6. Don’t you think that this would draw more attention to the tampon than hiding it? Just stick it up your sleeve when you go to the bathroom (don’t do this with short sleeves, you’re not Bowser from Sha Na Na with a pack of cigs rolled up in his t-shirt. Or stick it in your bra.

  7. I don’t know….these actually made me giggle! These would make great gag gifts!

  8. Hee hee hee!

  9. You have t to be kidding me! I can think of many better ways to use up little bits of yarn!

  10. Oh Lord! *hysterical laughing* I mean, I thought the crocheted va-jay-jays were bad, but this is right up there! Just stick ’em in the zipper compartment and you won’t have to worry about it!

    LOL – I’m thinking of an episode of The Young Ones where they have a party and one of the guys snoops in a female guest’s handbag in front of everyone. “OH LOOK! A PRESENT! It’s a telescope… with a mousie inside!” ROFL!

  11. not needed for me anymore, but would disguise it like a flower or some other object in purse if i were to make one

  12. It makes my ovaries hurt looking at it and I don’t have a clue _why_.
    Just be normal and put it in your purse or pocket. Why make such a “show it off” container for something , presumambly, you are trying to hide?
    Use the yarn for something else, anything else…..
    well, almost anything else.

  13. I have made a pouch to hold feminine hygiene products once, could also double as a glasses case, and I’ll admit, but these are quite disturbing!

    These patterns/items were for sale? Do you REALLY need a pattern for this? Can you imagine these for sale at a county fair or something? goodness!

  14. Some people just don’t know when to put down the hook and walk away from the yarn.

  15. Well, ladies (and I seriously hope you are mostly all ladies) you have given me the best chuckle of the day. This little ditty is just as interesting as a Willy Warmer and, if you don’t know what that is, well . . . I’m not going to explain it. There really isn’t a need to hide these anymore. Geez! my DH goes to the store to buy them for DD. What’s the big deal? Now if you think about a Willy Warmer and it’s function – that’s a necessity!

  16. Oh my, these are a hoot. I don’t need them anymore, thank goodness. But I got a good laugh.

    I really do not see why so many others are so uptight. At least they look better than the white paper package and will keep them cleaner.

  17. OMG! Makes me glad I had a hysterectomy!

  18. I wish one of them had googly eyes. That would be hilarious.

  19. I LOVE them!! They made me laugh out loud! I only wish I still needed the products so I could always have something fun in my purse! The uterus is just too cute! I may have to make some for my younger friends and co-workers!

  20. My husband said those make his ovaries hurt…and I am happy that I had a partial hysterectomy…at least now I won’t even be tempted to make something so….weird (at the very least).

  21. They look disturbingly like little alien creatures. Little alien creatures meant to disguise something for my most intimate areas…. like the makings of a freaky urban legend….

  22. these would certainly draw attention to your inner purse, the horrible ness of your 5 year old child pulling a tampon out of your bag and shouting “whats this mummy” very loudly in the playground when you are collecting from school, would be magnified 100 fold! whats next? a nice little cosy for your moon cup when its not in use? lol

  23. This made me crack right up, But WTF is the yellow one supposed to be? A banana?????

  24. Well, I think the one on the right is the perfect accompaniment for this video. Did you notice the, umm, interesting implications of the way these two twits are, errrm, fondling that banana?

    Disclaimer: I don’t buy their argument, and that video has been ripped to shreds by better educated, more intelligent people on YouTube and all over the blogosphere.

  25. I laughed long and hard, but you know, I’ll be honest… I want to make one of these now. I am forever misplacing tampons in my purse where they get all covered in glittered eyeshadow and stuff. Not so much the ovaries though. I like the googly eyes idea!

  26. Sad to say, I feel obsessed with this now. I SO want one of these! And I can’t crochet! Who will make one for me?

    Don’t suggest I take up crocheting— I already have a time-consuming quilting habit (and incidentally I’m also profoundly lazy, heh).

  27. Alright, i had to come out of the woodwork for this one as well. It took about 10 minutes to stop laughing hysterically to be able to type straight. I agree with the one that said this draws more attention to it. The uterus and ovaries one, uh, weird lol.

  28. I thought that was awesome!!!! I loved the Uterus one. I am tempted to make one for myself just for the weird factor. Tee hee.

  29. Holy Crap! I love these!!! They would work really well for gag gifts… oh! And I’d have to make sure to include a crocheted tampon too!! OMG!

  30. These are hilarious!

  31. HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!!!!!!!!!! (tears rolling down my face!!!)

  32. Those would make great gag gifts! Haha.

  33. Well the one with ovaries goes perfectly with this skirt: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=9073693

  34. I love those…if used tampons I would make them. You should see some of the penis shaped ones out there. I have designed a pad holder that has raised more than a few eyebrows.

    Cora

  35. Lorraine,

    As if this wasn’t wacky enough. How did you ever
    find that skirt? Your post was the cherry on the
    sundae! LOL.

  36. They’re both…really creepy…the uterus especially…*shudders*

  37. Someone finding a tampon in my stuff might be embarrassing or uncomfortable or whatever..but someone finding a tampon in one of these would be 100x more embarrassing!! XD

  38. I think these are awesome! Fun idea.

  39. Those are just too funny , but I just for the life of me cannot get the image of a crocheted condom out of my head ..
    hmm I think I have an idea for a new not to crochet gag gift lol

  40. I’m sorry but I’m glad you mentioned what it was cause I would not have guessed it was to cover tampons… wow…. I once found the crocheted condom on ebay… they look VERY similar. Yikes. lol

  41. I get the whole ironic crochet thing. But I don’t think that shade of pink can ever be ironic.

  42. Oh my gosh

    That’s hilarious!

  43. I am new on here so I have to ask: is there a pattern for condom cozies? It could look vaguely like the uterus-tampon cozy.

  44. oh…my…god…
    how on earth did this person think that this was a good idea?

  45. I think it’s a great idea! I used to purchase tampax by the box, and got a free plastic purse container that would hold two.

    These should be big enough for at least two!

  46. One of the things that always annoyed me was when the tampon package got messed up from being in my purse. Also the digging around my purse for the tampon. I think in spite of the subject matter this is a very creative and good idea

  47. I love the uterus one I’m gonna make them! Has anyone seen the knitted uterus on knitty.com? A perfect accompaniment. Now to look for that hot pnk cotton…Hmmm

  48. yes, I hadta look again – the yellow one IS s’posed to be a banana… how very very funny!

  49. Missmew, I suppose you wouldn’t be interested in my vibrator cover pattern then? 😀

  50. OMG! Who thought of this in the first place? Who thinks “Hmm I’m bored, what can I crochet? Oh I know tampon covers!!” This ranks right up with the knitted valentines day thong I ran across in a knitting pattern calender a couple of years ago. Although – why does the phrase ‘Secret Santa’ spring to mind?

  51. Kinda reminds me of those weenie warmers.

  52. I love the banana one! The uterus one is too literal, but the banana is inspired! You could do the same thing with… other things intended for that general area of your body.

    XD I am totally gonna make one of these!

  53. I think this is genius. I remember seeing these years ago and I think it’s a great idea for us silly, unconvential types! 😀

  54. Like someone said, they really are more for protecting the tampon from being damaged in one’s purse, not to take to the bathroom with you. I imagine you could take the tampon out of it’s well protected place when you go to the bathroom.
    I think some people are really critical on this site.\
    I think it’s funny and really sweet that someone would go to the trouble to crochet it. Lighten up everyone.

  55. …..oh dear.

    If I ever find one of these in one of my friends’ purses, I think we’re going to need to have one of those sit down talks. Like an intervention. That’s just wrong…

  56. This made me laugh. The uterus one is priceless, but what’s the other thing? A banana? Lol!

    On another note, a friend once got a somewhat similar piece of swag (stuff we all get) at a convention. I have no idea what this had to do with the theme of the con, but it was called a (I kid you not) “Rag Tote”! A little plastic box that holds two tampons. She got two, and for some reason gave one to me. My girlfriends found it and taunted me mercilessly for weeks…

  57. The uterus cozies for menstrual cups are much cuter and more anatomically correct. The banana one is funny, though.

  58. Not cute, really really not cute, but really, what is the possible situation where you could not take your purse with you and had to whip this puppy out? And what point being coy in a stall? Are you worried that someone who’d be titillated by ordinary female-type objects will be going through your purse and will NOT want to look at something as odd as this item? Or it there an advantage to showing it?

    Ok, so it isn’t an in-the-purse problem. Consider the situation:

    In a bar “Excuse me, will you hold my purse while I go to the restroom with my little (big lie and stealthy move to get the item)….

    In a business meeting “lets all take a break — we know this location is a problem, so lets agree that we’ll all leave our wallets and purses here and just take what matters (stealthy move to get the item and a cute attempt to make it look like something normal)”

    In a political meeting (while waving the item about) “hey girls — look at this! lets dodge these dullards and do the real business in the restroom” (hey, it beats the idea of ‘lets all break out into affinity groups’

  59. It’s neither wrong nor right, just silly.

  60. ROFL, ok i like the pink one rofl

  61. I thought I’d laughed as loud and hard as I could when I saw the pictures…. Then I read the posts! What a great way to start my Saturday morning!

    I am a nanny, working for a gynecologist…. I have GOT to make her some for her patients!!!!

  62. I read all the posts before I seen the pictures and laughed so hard I think my ovaries dropped. I LOVE THESE. Finally seen pictures can’t wait to dig out my yarn ( the brighter the colors the better.) So glad I found this pattern before Christmas.

  63. I’d rather just carry my tampon…right out in the open.

  64. Well, they aren’t called ‘Discreet Tampon Cozies.’ Someone asked what the ‘yellow thing’ is. I’m embarrassed to admit that I see it very plainly . . . a peeled banana. There.

    You are sooooo funny and this site is too much. I’ve been sitting here for hours going back through your postings. I cannot make myself go to bed.

  65. This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

  66. the perfect mix of hilarious and disturbing.

    i love it.

  67. *sigh*

    Come on….. if you’re a female and you’re ashamed and don’t want people to know you use feminine hygiene products, you’ve got mental problems that you probably can’t be helped with.

    You’re FEMALE. Everyone KNOWS you buy tampons and/or pads. No need to “hide” them.

  68. I no longer need these, but I think they’re “hysterical”.

    Maybe one shaped like a penis. A person could really get creative with these and they are such a small project they would take no time. I don’t think I’d try to sell them at our Christmas Sale, but I would make one for a friend for laughs, and if I still used tampons I would be starting one for myself right now.

  69. I seriously slapped myself just looking at this… WOW, I guess its true, people will make anything.

  70. You know what I LOVE THEM! They are FUN, that’s all, FUN.

    They are things most females will use, do use, have used. It’s an annoying expense and anything to make it amusing is a good thing!

  71. hahahaa!! i can just imagine some well meaning, clueless aunt knitting up a bunch to give to the girls in her life… hehehe

  72. I laughed for a good twenty minutes, the comments on these pages are too funny love this blog found it by accident and man am i happy i did

  73. I laughed SO HARD at this! As a disguise, these don’t really work–a tampon still looks like a tampon–but I think I would get a perverse pleasure out of pulling one of these out of my purse. I would embroider a happy face on them, though.

  74. I’m a tampon I only live a while,
    but for that short time I’d like to live in style.
    I don’t get cold so don’t be dozy
    don’t be buying me no tacky tampon cozy!

    banana_the_poet

  75. I just love how you block all the comments that disagree with you. Why am I surprised. What a sad person you are.

    • No comments get blocked – unless they’re advertising drugs to enhance the size of penises.
      Sometimes it takes me time to approve them because.. wow – I work for a living…

  76. That is simply pathetic!!

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