Ponytail Hats

Amish chic perhaps? I am not quite sure what the purpose of a “ponytail hat” could be? Oh well, at least it’s cheap to create this fug…only $8.99 US for the kit and plenty of yarn leftover too…according to the pattern ad. Meant to add a “creative touch to your child’s winter attire” too!
Tell me how this thing doesn’t fall off someone’s head with the tentacles hanging off the back? I’m quite sure it’d have to be pinned to your head too…oh ya, way comfortable I’m sure! Oh wait, there’s a tie under her chin…my oh my, so chic! I gotta get me one!! 😐 How about you?

Quite a few readers emailed this fug link into WNTC so thanks to everyone who did! Too many of you to list actually…so fug on…we appreciate the links…makes our job way easy!

33 Comments to “Ponytail Hats”

  1. Ugh… leaving off the dangly bits in back, it looks like a baby bonnet. Even children wouldn’t want to wear anything so styled, ESPECIALLY with the tie under the chin.

    Add in the dangly bits, and dorky doesn’t even begin to describe it (yeah, I know… I’m probably dating myself using the word dorky).

    How does anyone make something like this and then say “Hey, that looks great… I want to show it to the world. Let’s take a picture and post it for the world to see. And you know what? I’ll bet other people will want to make it, too… I’ll publish the pattern”.

  2. Rather reminds me of something my dotty old Aunt Lois gave me years ago. Mine was in white, and instead of a ponytail, it had Shirley Temple-like “curls” in back. Beyond bizarre. . .

  3. I recall back around ’65…I was five, in grade one and those were all the rage for little girls back then. I recall them as being ugly then and the passage of time has not made that hat less ugly. And I think it might have been that sickly shade “gravol pill pink” as in the picture. Oh yeah back then it was a crime to crush one’s ponytail by one’s hat, hence the open area in the back, and the tentacles were to add decoration to your hair. Or something! I dunno, ugly then, ugly now!

  4. oh.my.god
    Okay – it’s worn too far back, that’s not a child, it provides no real warmth, the hanging thingies are somewhat dangerous, the square corner looks way bad, and basically it appears to be a baby cap that went very, very wrong.

    Find the yarn ends and pull – now! There’s no animal I hate enough to put that thing on. A top for a petite dancer in certain clubs? Or throw it out.

  5. I’ve seen “ponytail hats” with a hole in the top to draw your own ponytail through. That sounds like it might almost kinda sorta possibly be cute, on the right person, who might need to be six.

    This looks more like a period costume gone horribly wrong.

  6. It looks like a squid crawled onto her head and died there.

  7. Wow, what school would a girl be able to wear this to and NOT get laughed at…I’d say beat up but the other kids might be laughing so hard they couldn’t manage a fight!

  8. Ok, that is bad, very bad. *cringe*

  9. I’ve got some 1950’s patterns with the same damn thing except the ponytail is strands of yarn.
    Ugly then, ugly now.

  10. This creative touch might just get “your child” beaten senseless.

    Perhaps this would be a merciful vacation from her existance as your offspring.

  11. They should totally have gone the octopus route and put some eyes on top. What kid wouldn’t want a hat that looks like an octopus squatting on his/her head? Hell, I’d wear a hat that looks like an octopus.

  12. OMG… that is too ugly and not to mention so not practical ROFL

    Just stumbled by your website and now I cant leave. Thanks for all the good laughs. Didnt know there were so many things that just should not be crocheted.

  13. I can’t believe that you think a little girl would wear that. I know that there is a pattern out there that is much smaller and cuter. The one that I remember also had a pom pom at the top which gathered the curls together. Curls definitely are too long. Makes a cute hat, when made correctly, for little girls.

    Your version “Way Too Ugly”.

  14. But wait!! This is perfect! I’ve been looking for a pattern for a realistic squid cat toy! 😉

  15. I actually made ponytail hats for my kids when they were 2, but they were MUCH smaller and very cute. This is just a monster! Eeeewwwww…….

  16. oh my gosh. I actually had a hat like that when I was a little kid, like 4 or 5. It was pink like that, but it had even more pony tail things hanging off of the back and they were curly, and I loved it and felt like I had the most glamorous hair ever, and I wore it constantly, until one day it mysteriously disappeared. I remember distinctly feeling my mom’s fashion disapproval when I wore it (every single day). hmmmm….

  17. Okay, so is this supposed to be for people without pony tails, if so, they now make things called extensions and are no way made out of horrible pink yarn!!!

    If you make your children wear this, then someone should call CPS, that has to be some kind of mental abuse.


  18. that was not very nice wat u guys have been saying. i think it is a good invention and that it is a little pretty

  19. Hey! This hat would be perfect for spring skiing. The sillier and/or uglier the hat, the better!

  20. Not my child….good heavens.

  21. Hahahahahahaha! “Amish Chic?” That’s great! This is my first time at this site, and even if I think a few of the things are actually decent, this one is by far one of the worst and most hilarious! Those tail-things look like a worm bookmark my great aunt made for me. Well, except the bookmark was actually cute. Lol, make it in green, dress your kid in a toga, and tell her it’s a “Medusa” costume.

  22. it’s so painful. so hard on the eye. there is a commandment against this type of evilery.

  23. Obiously, I’m not from the same planet as you all. I think this hat properly fitted on a child 18 months to 3 years old (when a lot of children do not have a lot of hair) would be just ADORABLE. This is a child’s hat!!!

  24. Can we just say “Just Say NO?” I am starting to believe that we should have ratings for crochet patterns like the MPAA has for movies. This is too painful to believe. The model won’t even face the camera head-on. Maybe this hat could be used to torture the enemy during wartime, naah, the Geneva convention would ban it.

  25. This vintage pattern was originally meant for children and is actually very adorable. I have to agree that it looks a bit silly on adults. I made this hat a couple of years ago, and I can say that the hat design does not weigh itself down. It is a very fun pattern to work with., and a fun design for little girls to wear. Remember that it is a vintage pattern from decades gone by when leaving your comments.

  26. what exactly is this supposed to be.

  27. to begin with, you have the hat on someone who looks bout 36 which is all wrong.

    my mother made one for my children (similar, but not exact, and for LITTLE GIRLS

  28. to begin with you have it on someone who looks like she’s 36. my mother made one for my daughter, not exactly, but very similar, and it looks cute on a LITTLE GIRL, which it was intended for.

    it’s too bad that the cuteness has been taken out of everything these days, especially for our children.

    Yes, it does look stupid on the person you have it on, but it wasn’t intended for her age to begin with.

  29. HA HA HA HA pictured this in a hundred mile an hour wind. very bad. ha ha ha

  30. With the 70s and 80s back in style, I just loving vintage clothing from the thrift shops. You can find designers like Chanel and Armani for cheap there. Ebay is great too!

  31. Omg, haha I agree with soto I too just happened to run across this website and I now find myself unable to leave.

  32. I made a hat for my daughter years ago and she was always getting compliments on the hat. I have since lost the pattern. But it was very cute for a small child and it was more of a helmet hat with curley tails down the back. My little girl loved wearing it. I wished I could find another pattern!

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