Archive for January, 2006

January 30, 2006

Table Doily Shawls

What’s wrong with this picture? It’s called an “Ice Crystal Shawl”, however, when you look at it, isn’t it really a table doily? Don’t get me wrong…it’s a gorgeous stitch and well made, however, it looks like she went to her Grandma’s house, tore the doily off the closest table, put a pin on it and said “wow, look at me, a shawl!” and out for dinner she went… 😐

Why do crochet designers do this? You can’t tell me it’s impossible to be a little more creative then taking something that’s meant to be something else, changing it slightly, peddling it as a piece of clothing and pretending that’s what it’s supposed to be! Seen it with afghans too…with all those darn granny square items of clothing! It’s supposed to be on your table and can look quite lovely there…but the secret is to leave it on your table…duh!

Link respectfully submitted by one of our WNTC readers…thanks!

January 28, 2006

Conehead Hats

Want to morph your head shape into a cone? Here’s a hat to achieve that much sought after look! And to think this pattern comes from a publisher I normally have respect for. For knitting patterns, they are absolutely great! For crocheting, well, just take a look at this hat…LOL However, they do still do a lot of nice patterns…guess it’s okay to “slip up” once in awhile. I’ve been told that if the model is not looking at you directly or face on then they are hiding something in the picture…so with her looking down at her feet, guess that’s the only way this hat will look nice…so if you want to wear it, go ahead but be warned, you might have to look at your feet the entire time so people don’t clue in that your head is now cone-shaped! I won’t even touch on how it’s mashing her hair down either… 😐

Respectfully submitted by one of our WNTC readers! Thanks!

January 26, 2006

“I’m *Actually* Naked” Lace Tops

Another one from “Amazing Crochet” that just makes you scratch your head. Why do they make these revolving graphics anyways? It really does NOTHING for the top at all except give you the 360 degree view of the fug in all its glory… Not to mention make it that much more hilarious on this site! Really, this one is not that *ugly* but again, how do you wear this? Over another top perhaps? Love how the mannequin is bare-naked under it too…who in the real world is going to wear it this way unless you’re a pop star or something and even then, most would have to wear something under it. I don’t think even Christina Aguilera or Mariah Carey would wear it the way it is. I mean, look at the left side of this…one teeny tiny little piece just barely covers her nipple…how do you keep that in place? Oh, right, tape!! DUH! Anyways, you decide…what do you think? And hey, don’t get any ideas about the necklace, it’s NOT included in the price of $45 US with free shipping!
January 25, 2006

Ponytail Hats

Amish chic perhaps? I am not quite sure what the purpose of a “ponytail hat” could be? Oh well, at least it’s cheap to create this fug…only $8.99 US for the kit and plenty of yarn leftover too…according to the pattern ad. Meant to add a “creative touch to your child’s winter attire” too!
Tell me how this thing doesn’t fall off someone’s head with the tentacles hanging off the back? I’m quite sure it’d have to be pinned to your head too…oh ya, way comfortable I’m sure! Oh wait, there’s a tie under her chin…my oh my, so chic! I gotta get me one!! 😐 How about you?

Quite a few readers emailed this fug link into WNTC so thanks to everyone who did! Too many of you to list actually…so fug on…we appreciate the links…makes our job way easy!

January 23, 2006

Crappy Celtic Crochet

Wow, look at how those colours clash! Is that what defines Celtic? Horrible colour combinations and hideous ensembles that clash enough to burn your retinas?!

I don’t remember Celtic being reminiscent of any of these colours either. How would you feel if you were Irish and saw this pattern book that claims to be showing your heritage colours? Is a bright pink and orange ensemble Irish? Funny, I think of green usually….go figure!

And not to mention the little girl’s pink flowers with furry green accents…and a matching fug purse…ugh!

January 19, 2006

Furry Sweaters

As said by the person who submitted this to WNTC: “…for every woman who always wanted a furry chest!” And I think that pretty much sums of this monstrosity. The pattern is free and reads “eyelash adorns 4-ply for great flair”….ya, whatever…maybe if you want to look like a gorilla. Geez, if it was black fun fur, you’d never know the difference! And to think they give this pattern free to promote the magazine for “crochet lovers”…puke!

Submitted to WNTC by Ginny of Yarning with a Hook

January 18, 2006

Flowered Poncho/Hat Combos

Who wears these combinations? Has anyone ever seen these things out in public?

Not only is the colour just bad…some pukey yellow… but the flowers on the head and on the poncho is just not good… the flowers look like an afterthought — just plopped onto the poncho and hat because, well, the designer had made the flowers and had nowhere else to put them! In fact, if they weren’t there, the combo *might* just be passable…

Seriously, if you’re going to crochet a carpet, do that and put it on the floor, don’t make a hat and call it a matching ensemble!

January 15, 2006

Shoo Fly Covers

Yup, you read that right! SHOO FLY covers!! Why I say, whyyyyy? Oh my dear God, we can’t brush bugs away from our glasses so we need to crochet fringe on a piece of fabric and place it over our glasses? Geez, this is just a perfect something you’d find at someone’s house and you’d think…”what the h*ll?” and then once someone told you it’s to shoo flies out of your drink, you’d think “oh dear God, I have to leave now” and run from that house laughing hysterically!

This is a free pattern too…go get it if you can find it…just google “SHOO FLY COVER”… 😐

In the designer’s words “this piece is designed to keep flies and bugs out of your drinks when you are outside”. I think I’d rather drink a bug then be caught dead with this thing on my glass!

January 13, 2006

Big Ass Scarves

From wearing next to nothing to wearing too much… designing bad crochet never ends! Just how heavy is this darn scarf and why is it so HUGE? It looks like it’s engulfing this poor model’s neck and any minute now she’s going to topple forward and fall on her face!

If you’re going to make it that big, just turn it into a shawl, a shoulder wrap, anything that’s appropriate for how big this thing is. Finished size is 8″ wide by 96″ long…yikes! And the colour changes are pretty bad too.

Comes as a kit for $34.99 US!

January 10, 2006

Trashy Lingerie

Seriously, is this lingerie? I have no idea how to explain this “peek-a-boo” crochet other than it must be lingerie…and since it comes from a French website, it’s quite possible. But if you are going to do crochet lingerie, yikes, how about some nice yarns to do it with? And check out those tassles…the ends weren’t snipped to make tassles…just looks like worms hanging off her arms. And this borders on “hooker wear” if it isn’t lingerie…and you have to wonder…is she wearing any undergarments? That fun fur trim I won’t even comment on…I’ll just go poke my eyes out now! Putting a nice body into fugly crochet lingerie doesn’t make it a nice crochet even with the breasts popping out trying to distract you!

Submitted to WNTC by Leisel of Knot Again…thanks!

%d bloggers like this: