Making the most of it!

If anyone one else is stuck here at the same airport, waiting for a plane that is fogged in and sucking up free hotspot connectivity please come over and say hi. I’m the one wearing the denim jacket with the Toshiba taking up most of the fake walnut burl desk here in the departure lounge.
There’s [...]

There’s just no other way to say it

Unless you’re appearing on a Makeover Show in the “Before” section and you REALLY want them to take pity on you, so you gets lots of big-name label clothes…..
 
 
This is NOT RIGHT

I can hear the crowd chanting now : “FUG FUG FUG”
 

Crochet Overload

As a small hint…
When your Dacshund is ashamed to be seen with you,
you may have overdone it.
Exhibit A:

Answering the Question

So many times an item is crocheted, which really doesn’t have a purpose.
It’s gorgeous. It’s taken forever. You’ve used specialised yarns.
But, really, when all things are considered, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH IT????
The Crocheted Barrier Reef using Hyperbolic principles keeps touring, like a Demented Energizer Bunny with a passport, but really… what would [...]

Love or hate?

We’ll get to the crochet part in a sec.
Firstly, a hint to eBay sellers.
(Actually two - to the sellers who are trying to use security settings to prevent your pictures being copied - FAIL. If you’re going to sell fugly patterns that should never be made, you deserve to have your pictures lifted. )
Hint: When listing items on [...]

Maybe for a dare?

Why is this
An Example of What Not to Crochet?
 

A. It’s the colour. Colours, Colooooooooooooors…So MANY COLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOURRRRRRSSSSSSS    (ARGH!! MY EYEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!)
B. It’s the confetti ribbon yarn teamed with lime green acrylicy stuff.     Can you spell “Need to market this year’s novelty ribbon yarn crap?”
C. It’s the lacy stitching in the sleeves and the superwide collar. (Go on - I [...]

Where to start?

We’d like to apologise for the Fuglius Interrupptus and we now return you to your regularly scheduled What Not To Crochet.
To get back into the swing of Crocheted Monstrosties, I give you this:

You know how we always say it’ll look better on a child -
NO, IT DOESNT!

Warning! Wardrobe Malfunction Imminent !!

Crocheted tops, they just scream VINTAGE, don’t they?
This top pictured below is probably not completely FUGLY

 
but as an example of What Not to Crochet,
The straps on your crocheted top would have to be on the list.
Ok???
 
Do you need it spelt out?
Crocheted string straps = s-t—r—-e—–t—–c———h.
 
What do you think is going through our model’s mind right [...]

Sloppy design causes a Fug Factor

This is a serious lesson on design principles.
This is how to avoid making an otherwise quite sweet poncho (I say otherwise because I detest the Single-large-flower-done-in-the-same-yarn-lumped-on-the-shoulder thing thats happening here.) into something that isn’t quite right.
The lesson in designing garments, ponchos in this case, is
Unless you can do immaculate work in the “join with slst [...]

Oh yes… Looks like SO much fun!

The thing I should like to know from this pattern (and yes… it’s from Lionbrand!) is not HOW to do it, but at least (AT LEAST!) ONE good reason WHY.
Why on earth would anyone, ANYONE, want to mutilate a pair of jeans, make themselves look like a Sesame Street Monster has them by the neck AND [...]