Loincloth? (Warning: not quite Child Friendly)
Posted by: SB&C on: October 27, 2008
There are some things you hope you can go through life and never experience:
Root Canal Surgery.
Body Cavity probing by Aliens.
Seeing seriously screwed up crochet bikinis.
If you cherish your ignorance on more than one of the above topics, DO NOT SCROLL DOWN.
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Ok…… A) you were warned. And B) Yes – It is as bad as you think.
What not to crochet: A bikini that not only shows your nipples, but where any modesty you had is covered by a Filet Flap!!
39 Responses to "Loincloth? (Warning: not quite Child Friendly)"
October 27, 2008 at 7:47 am
At least the poor model has the decency (I use that term loosely) to look mortified and sullen about the project. What do you think the crocheter has on her, blackmail-wise, that would cause her to wear this and be photographed in it? Must be pretty hardcore dirt…
October 27, 2008 at 7:52 am
At least this model has a tan! Too much wrong with this to even begin to describe it. Not only are her nipples showing but her right boob is only barely contained. That sucker is coming outta there! The bottom? Oh dear… hair, lots of hair. Gotta love the Pocohantas look though. Heaven forbid the wind should lift her flap! The stiffness with which the model is standing seems to indicate moving would cause the whole damn thing to fall off. Why, oh why would anyone even consider wasting time and yarn on this?
October 27, 2008 at 8:12 am
I love how excited she is to be wearing this. I mean…look at that glee!!!
…
So..um..yeah..that is what I think that is.
Ew.
October 27, 2008 at 10:04 am
Well, perhaps with the right flip flops one could make this work (*snortle*).
October 27, 2008 at 10:40 am
I can’t get over the look on the model’s face.
As for the bottom, the term, “flapping in the breeze” takes on another undesirable visual meaning.
October 27, 2008 at 11:15 am
Oh this poor model. She looks so embarrassed and ready to put some clothes on, any clothes to take her memory away from this…this….thing.
October 27, 2008 at 12:01 pm
It could be worst, the model could have a pot belly.
Or be a man…
or be a man with a pot belly. ***shudder!**
Thanks for the laugh! Keep posting!
October 27, 2008 at 12:07 pm
my sympathies to the model, i hope you managed to pay the crocheter/photographer back in kind! (please supply pics)
October 27, 2008 at 1:00 pm
It looks like a mugshot. Anyone who makes OR wears it should be arrested. Gah.
October 27, 2008 at 2:09 pm
With all these wardrobe mishaps happening on TV, nipples don’t surprise me anymore. but pucbic hair does. Xouldn’t they have added one more row to cover up the hairline. YUCK!!!
October 27, 2008 at 2:27 pm
It’s what the nude beach attenders who are too much of a pansy to take it off wear, my guess. I don’t think it would be tempting lingerie.
October 28, 2008 at 7:01 am
And as I looked…I had the mental equivalent of Blue Screen of Death. Thank god the image wasn’t a *.jar or some other movie-type file…
–Glenn
October 28, 2008 at 12:51 pm
You’ve out done yourself this time. This is truely hideous. I have to go wash my eyes out with soap now. Thanks.
October 28, 2008 at 4:48 pm
No asthma attack but funny as hell. i agree Flora. Someone ran out of thread. This is NOT a completed project.
October 28, 2008 at 11:12 pm
it’s very blue lagoon meets pocahontis on thorazine. wow. i think i just came up with my halloween costume!
October 29, 2008 at 4:31 am
I am convinced that the person who made this is a clinical sadist who has some form of basic mind control drug used on the model, or basic black mail to humilate her.
Those are the only explanations I have for this terrible terrible piece. D/s play gone SOO wrong or not enough medication.
October 30, 2008 at 10:18 pm
When I first saw this image, I turned my head away from the monitor, then I took off my reading glasses and just pushed the laptop away from my face. After I recovered, I spent 10 minutes laughing at everyone else’s comments. This ensemble( I use that term loosely) is wrong on SO MANY LEVELS. If an Oscar were given for the worst crochet project, this one would win hands down. Someone needs their hook(s) taken away from them. FOREVER. Lord have mercy.
November 26, 2008 at 2:57 pm
That model looks downright homicidal. It couldn’t be because that is the single worst waste of yarn (even scraps!) and the ugliest thing in creation (I must not have seen the crocheted phallus yet). Nope. It must be that she just realized she mistook a bottle of Rogaine for Nair.
December 2, 2008 at 10:31 am
all i can say is she is bad body get some ass and a breast lift.and get rid of that 19 teen 60 hair .
December 21, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Can we say bikini wax, gees. To the designer, either use more thread or get a smaller model.
January 23, 2009 at 3:28 pm
I think she has a perfectly lovely body, I just wish I didn’t see so much of it!
January 30, 2009 at 5:19 pm
I’m having one of those “what the hell were you thinking” moments….
I’m all for crochet bikinis. Never made one, never wore one, I don’t see a lot of point to it unless you’re just hardcore into thread crochet and thus like some of us you have become somewhat obsessed.
Crochet lingerie can be sexy and gorgeous.
But…..what the hell is that? It’s an ill-fitting bikini top with…a buttflap?? When did buttflaps become sexy? Should I spread the word to my girlfriends?
I’ll give it this much, you’re significant other will definately be surprised…
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February 5, 2009 at 12:26 am
This poor woman…I have been laughing forever at all the comments….had to finally scroll the screen when my 9-year-old son wanted to know what was so funny….*aaahhhh* my cheeks hurt
February 21, 2009 at 4:38 am
I think the model looks like she is grouchy because the bottom is probably a thong and it is stuck….you know where.
April 30, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Now that I’ve changed into dry pants and put my chair outside to dry I can say in the manner of Gordon Ramsey OH BLOODY HELL WTF IS THAT!!!
If you study the model’s face you can see that after the shoot someone (the photographer, designer, or both) died for this hideous thing.
May 20, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Okay, I thought it was a new use for the face panel of a burka! lol http://pravdaoislamu.cz/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/mother_in_burka.jpg
July 3, 2009 at 2:04 am
WOW! I think the model is just fine. What’s up with the flag on the bottom? I’m sure some people pledge allegiance to that area of female anatomy, but seriously, does it need a flag? She needs to fire her friend. Friends don’t let friends wear crap crochet cootie flags. Friends certainly don’t ASK friends to wear said crap crochet cootie flags!!! Friends don’t crochet crap crochet cootie flags for friends to wear. And real friends do not do all of the above then PHOTOGRAPH friends wearing crap crochet cootie flags.
October 27, 2008 at 6:08 am
Eeeeek! That was horrible!