This, is NOT cute.
Posted by: SB&C on: July 27, 2008
This is an abomination!
Sure - it sounds like a cute idea: make a dolly’s dress in Worsted weight, and then a crocheted pony to go with it.
Ok.
The doll’s dress is quite sweet but before you make the horse, please (PLEASE!) have a look at how a horse is put together.
And … please, look at a decent horse.
Rather than something like this:
This is a FUGLY horse, (for further evidence, please see www.fuglyhorseoftheday.blogspot.com) and has been so poorly bred that it will never be sound – thus destined to end up.. you don’t want to know where.
The real-life equivalent of the recycling bin that Monstrosity will end up in as soon as the maker has left.
This, is the way a Dreamhorse should look:
See the difference???
Dreamhorses, especially when crocheted as a substitute for a horse-mad little girl, should look like they floats on dreams!
23 Responses to "This, is NOT cute."
July 27, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Having never been a fan of Barbie I feel she deserves every distasteful piece of trash thrown at her. I have been around horses most of my life and yes, this one needs to be helped across the Rainbow Bridge. Time to crank up the backhoe.
July 27, 2008 at 5:11 pm
If you think about it, though, Barbie isn’t built like a real woman (or is she now?), so it follows that her horse wouldn’t be built like a real horse….it should be more “ideal”, though!
Also, no worsted for Barbie clothes. Yuck! Can you imagine what that’s like for Barb? Must be like wearing rope!
Ladyrose
July 27, 2008 at 7:48 pm
hmmmmm …fugly “real” horse looks more like a Shetland pony than a stallion. Poor little fugly …. has a right to be :[
that crocheted horse is kinda top heavy … wonder if it can stand up-right? What’s with the saddle looping under it’s bottom? Not an attractive toy … no indeed ….
July 27, 2008 at 10:24 pm
That’s a pretty good looking horse for crochet. Kind of a stretch to put it it here. Annie’s usually has some innovative crochet techniques and designs, and has a pretty big following.
July 28, 2008 at 11:48 am
i’m surprised no one has mentioned Barbie’s radioactive tan. i had to put on sunglasses before i even saw the horse.
July 30, 2008 at 11:22 am
Like Barbie…her horse is also top heavy and in real life would not be able to walk but then again…neither could barbie so what is the problem. Yes the horse could be cuter but alas it is not. As far as Barbies clothes go…I don’t think there is anything wrong with this outfit. Her tan and hairstyyle definately is on the fugly list.
July 30, 2008 at 5:20 pm
I just discovered your blog, and have spent WAY too much time laughing my head off while browsing through your archives. lol
OMG… I am going to have NIGHTMARES about that crocheted horse… among other things. lol
Consider me officially “hooked” on your blog. Can’t wait ’til the next installment! 
July 31, 2008 at 7:28 am
I agree with sonycmyst, Barbie’s you’ve-been-Tangoed fake tan is far scarier than the fugly pony!
July 31, 2008 at 6:21 pm
I don’t think the dress is worsted weight yarn, looks to me like its 30 thread, doubled. To me, it doesn’t really look right for horse riding, it looks more for spring picnic than riding outfit.
What I don’t understand is that there are many horses for Barbie already available. (Grand Champions springs to mind.) Why crochet one? If you must crochet something for the horse, might I suggest a nice horse blanket?
Plus, I don’t believe thats really a horse. I think its Ken in a pony suit.
And you’re right, Barbie needs to lay off the fake-a-bake tanning lotion.
August 4, 2008 at 11:32 am
Personally I think it is cute. The horse while not “perfect” is a really good rendition for crochet. The saddle is in the style of what would have been put on a medieval horse or a Carousel horse.
The dress is not made in ww. It looks like maybe size 10 thread or at most baby yarn. If it were in ww there would not be that many rows in the bodice. It looks like DC and as all crocheters know a row worked in ww is much bigger.
Had the bodice been in ww there would likely only be 2 rows, but looking at the picture it looks like there are at least 7 rows.
August 7, 2008 at 6:41 pm
I just discovered this blog…do you crochet? I don’t think the horse is that bad, and anyway, you need to spend your time more productively. Trashing other people’s efforts is wasteful. Why not find a positive outlet?
Also, to people who think Arabian horses are ugly(yours truly and my husband who trained quarter horses professionally for 35 years), your dream horse is BUTT UGLY. There, doesn’t that feel good?
August 13, 2008 at 2:58 am
That horse is hideous, as is the little spotty shetland / appaloosa number chosen to represent ugly horses. Good choice indeed!
As for the crocheted one, the bottom half looks like a man inside a horse suit. The top half is beyond belief.
September 10, 2008 at 2:49 pm
This is so funny. I’m not a fan of crochet, that horse and barbie above are hideous.
September 14, 2008 at 4:45 am
The sad thing is that the horse’s head and accessories are so pretty. If they had just shaped the body properly I think it (not that damn stupid doll dress, I don’t like that at ALL) would be quite a lovable toy, actually.
September 14, 2008 at 5:26 am
PS: Two Maryann/Mary Anns? I’m a different, long-time WNTC fan Maryann. I’m sickened that the above humorless twit shares my name.
I’ve trashed a few haters of this blog but this one takes the cake…
Mary Ann, my dear, haters like yourself inevitably show fans the truth: you like a lot of this crap, which is why you take exception to WNTC.
Maybe instead of pitching a fit just because you’ve been confronted with reality, might be time to take a hint and simply accept that you have absolutely no taste or sense of humor and leave it at that.
And as to WNTC’s blogger spending time trashing other people’s efforts… what, exactly, do you think you’re doing? Hypocrite.
Oh, and seriously, you’re a horse lover? And you call the magnificent animal pictured “butt ugly?” Even if to your… *snicker* expert… eyes, the horse is less than perfect, no genuine horse lover would call that animal ugly.
You’re so full of bullshit your chair is probably sagging under you.
What I’m saying here, Mary Ann, is… why don’t YOU go do something “positive” and leave us to wallow in our filth. Our funny, fugly filth.
And to Christina, you need to see yourself some good crochet. There are some astonishingly beautiful, stunning, amazing crochet’d artists and items. Most of us here love this blog because we love crochet, and we don’t like seeing the art form so abused.
September 14, 2008 at 9:13 am
That horse definitely has two little crochet men inside it – a PANTOMIME HORSE! This is Pantomime Barbie!
September 18, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Do none of you not remember when you first started trying to come up with something “original” and you thought it was great?, Now look back if you took pics and wonder what the bleep you were thinking? Well as they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.Have you seen what most “stuffed” creations looked like in the simple patterns of the 70’s? I have, I inherited some pattern books and some of the “animal” patterns are atrocious, but it was par for the course. So on the note of when it was created? That’s why it made it where it did. And Malibu tan barbie? just a fad of the past as well. Yes, the patterns of today are wonderful, but it took trial and error for us to get there. Hence this picture.
October 13, 2008 at 10:01 pm
Dude, when I was of Barbie age, I HATED getting chintzy-looking crochet Barbie clothes, mostly because they all looked like the dresses on the dolls that hid the toilet paper in my grandma’s bathroom.
October 24, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Someone’s probably already said it but that horse looks like he’s wearing a diaper.
Maybe he’s the Trojan Horse with men hiding inside……gee….I can’t stop laughing…..I love everyone’s comments too–you’re all Great!!!
I just stumbled upon your blog and I think this is the funniest one I’ve seen!!! Thank you for your hard work in all of this!!
I have a large collection of patterns but I never can decide what to make. “what not to Crochet” is really an inspiration for me to narrow down my pattern stash by putting away the fuglys!
Thanks so much!!
Jenna in FL
December 9, 2008 at 9:08 pm
That is SO not a dream horse…I think they put another set of front legs on the back…
Poor little fugly thing!
July 27, 2008 at 2:45 pm
achhhhhh… the saddle is around the horse’s butt!!!